The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Words by: Jamie Phillips

Image by: derekvanderlaan

Opinions are funny creatures: sometimes rigid, sometimes fluid, and other times, undetectable. Like hairstyles, they can - and should - evolve over time. As I am clearly a highly evolved person, my opinions are of the fluid variety. As the saying goes, I change my mind as often as I change my underwear.

One such proverbial changing of the underpants occurred as follows:

It was a muggy overcast day in Salta, Argentina. I was, like many, many other days, eating ice cream and recovering from a steak hangover. That day had been dedicated to errands, to planning and booking the next leg of my trip. The next week, at least, was planned out. This, for a pathologically inefficient planner such as myself, is quite the accomplishment.  Naturally, a wrench was then thrown into it. On a random street, mid ice cream, I unexpectedly ran into a person I thought I had left in the past.

I had been traveling with Y. for over two months when we decided to split up and go our separate ways. You see, when I started out this trip, it was meant to be something I did on my own, alone but for the brief travel partners you pick up and then leave along the way. And it was certainly not supposed to be about having a relationship. I was looking for “me” time. I didn’t try and wheedle one of my friends from home into joining me because I wanted to explore another part of the world on my own terms. Traveling alone is much different than traveling with friends or a partner– both good in their respective ways, but different.

This plan, like oh so many others, was delayed when I met Y. What began as a night out dancing turned into months of traveling together. There was just no good reason not to continue on once we started. But there was always a niggling voice in the back of my mind that repeatedly reminded me of how I had expected this trip to go. He had the same tiny irritating voice in his head (we were terribly incommunicative and did not discover this similarity until later). We attempted to part ways a few times before the big split actually happened. The first couple of times, one of us would get sick - and it is extremely bad travel karma to leave the sick behind. Then, due to a typical Bolivian bus debacle we ended up in the same city at the same time, by accident. Finally, in a desolate Bolivian mining town, we were both healthy enough, caught the right buses and said our theoretically final goodbyes.

Two weeks later, in Salta, mid ice cream, there he was coming out of a tour agency. We took the hint - the travel gods obviously think we make a good team - and we picked up right where we left off. But a funny thing happened. That niggling voice in the back of my head was gone. Even though my trip was nearing its end and during my two weeks of “me” time I still hadn’t experienced the aloneness as I’d expected. But that just wasn’t important anymore. In fact, these expectations, instead of guiding me, hindered a perfectly good thing. And without trying to force my reality into what my head thought it should look like, I wound up having a much better time and carrying on a much better relationship with Y. Fortunately he got over his silly expectations, too.

And now, I’ve changed my mind again – and my flights home to a later date!

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