The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Word by: Ryan Lowe

Image by: Pink Sherbet Photography

You notice when someone’s made a radical fashion choice. You can see it in the flock of seagulls hairstyle, the tight purple jeans, the pierced dimples, or the ninja star tattoos. Most of the time, these stylistic blunders elicit the kind of ridicule that we’re all so good at. Jeering whispers and muffled laughter form a wake behind the fifty-three year old woman dressed as Pamela Anderson as she wobbles precariously down the sidewalk on six inch heels, desperately clutching a chihuahua, deflated tits swaying lazily in spandex hammocks. It’s easy to make fun of her, and everyone does. After all, she does look pretty hilarious, in that “sad clown” kind of way. But aren’t we left saddened once the gales of laughter subside, and our conscience kicks in? And imagine how the woman feels, not to mention the chihuahua.

Overall, I’d argue that the residual guilt following the event is more bitter and abiding than the momentary torment is satisfying and sweet. So, my new favourite activity is to stop Miss Anderson, smile my best smile, and tell her how stunning her nails look. It costs me nothing, and its makes Pam’s day. And, if you’re an attractive young female, you practically owe it to yourself as a woman to pay the cougar a compliment. After all, youth is fleeting and the world of fashion is as capricious as an Alzheimer’s victim; you could be next! So, next time you come face to face with  an individual suffering from an aesthetic abhorrence, test your reflexes and lay some flattery on their insanity!

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