The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Words by: Steph Camp

Image by: Lindsey Shields

Here’s what I’ve realized: I did everything wrong.

I followed the expectations of everyone else and forgot to listen to my own heart. After high school, I went straight to university. I was convinced it was the right thing for me to do. It was what I was meant to do. It was going to be everything I had dreamed of. For once, I was going to love what I was learning. For once, I was going to be surrounded by intellectual people who I could relate to.

I was wrong. I was miserable.

The problem was I had a plan. A rational, logical plan. A plan that made sense and would look good on my resumé. I hate plans. What I should have done was hop on a plane to Europe. Traveling on my own would have scared the shit out of me. And that’s exactly what I needed. I needed to be out of my comfort zone in a strange place where I could take the time to figure out who I was and what I wanted.

I have yet to take my trip to Europe, but after a few years of trial and error, I have finally realized my dream. I want to be a writer. It all makes perfect sense, now. It was a dream I had buried away because I was afraid of failing. I was hesitant to tell my friends and family about my desire to be a writer. I thought they would laugh and think me foolish. To my surprise, I have been given nothing but support and encouragement.

This wasn’t part of my plan. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, or if it’s something I can do. All I know is I need to write. It’s a part of who I am. If I can make a career out of something I am passionate about, I know I can be happy. So why not give it a shot? This isn’t going to be easy, and I’m terrified. But it’s this fear that lets me know I’m on the right track. If I’m not scared, it means I’m stuck in the safe zone of people’s expectations; it means I’m not pushing myself to realize my potential. Taking risks is scary. Not knowing your next steps is scary. But uncertainty and the possibility of failure are chances we must take if we are to follow our hearts and chase after our dreams. So, welcome the fear with a smile on your face, and enjoy the ride.

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