The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Words By: Bubbles

Image by: George Eastman House

One of the realities of life is facing the reality that is your life: In less than a month I will be 25. I used to think 25 was so old that I didn’t even picture what it would be like because it was classified under “adult life”. However, here it is: the big 25. Actually I’m turning 23 if you ask anyone in the London acting community. Pathetic isn’t it? Not even half way through my 20’s I’m already lying about my age. Part of the reason for this, is there were many things I had planned to accomplished by this age, and because I haven’t done them all, I don’t feel ready to assume the “mid 20s” badge. I wanted a successful career, to be producing and writing my films, and if I’m going to be completely honest, an extra 3 inches vertically. Instead I’m stuck at 5’3”, splitting a one bedroom with my friend (the living room is my bedroom, natch), and working a horrible “day job” while waiting for my “big break”.

The one thing, however, that I never planned on having accomplished in my quarter century is marriage. I was never that girl that loooooooved babies (that baby smell makes me nauseous). Who picked her wedding dress in grade school (“it’ll be out of style by the time I actually wear it” I thought), or cooked. Period. However, because I’m in my mid 20s and exclusively sleeping with one person, everyone who I meet wants to know if he’s The One. I have never met so many people who, upon hearing my age (real or fake mind you) and how long I’ve been with my boyfriend, ask if we’re going to get married. I blame the British. I have never met a culture more obsessed with an outdated tribal ritual. I mean, white? Really? There are photos on facebook that would argue otherwise. Also, am I completely alone in my belief that the term “blood free” only applies to menopausal women?

Now, if someone else wants to get married, that is all fine by me. Underneath my cynicism I’m actually a closeted romantic. When I see two people who really love each other, it actually makes me very happy, and I would respect any way they decide to show it (even if it was Angie and Billy Bob syle). There’s also nothing I love more than a good party with an open bar. I just don’t like how it is still an assumed life path, especially for women. No one (unless a sister or mother) would dare pose the same question to a guy. However, it’s still acceptable for near strangers to ask you if you’re tying the knot, and when you say no, lean in and whisper “why not?”

The world is entering the worst financial crisis since the great depression, I am trying to stay afloat working a shitty job, living in a place I can’t afford, while trying to get a career off the ground. I usually send off at least 3 letters a day, five days a week, begging casting directors, directors and producers to meet me. I then I trek off to my day job to get sexually harassed while wearing high heels on a marble floor for 8 hours. Then I go home to see if any big shot has responded. Usually not, but sometimes they do. Then I get to take a day off to audition. Then if I’m really lucky, a few more days to shoot. This isn’t a swan song; it’s a reality that we all face, on one level or another, while trying to climb whichever ladder we’ve set our sights on. To have my ambition belittled by some stranger asking if I’m going to take time off to plan a wedding and get domesticated, really pisses me off.

I see getting married is like redecorating you’re living room. Sure people do it if they have the time and the money, and some people might say you eventually have to do it. However, if you have a nice living room, why not just keep it as it is and let it evolve and change naturally over time? At the very least save redecorating for “adult life”.

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