The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Words by: Ralph Kilgore

Image by: Marke Clinger

I have recently moved to the city of Toronto. I am new to the city and am on the job hunt. I am native to Windsor, Ontario, I lived there until I finished high school then moved to Ottawa to study political science. After completing that degree I moved to Australia to study education. After a six-month teaching contract on the Gold Coast (and yes the area is just what you are picturing, beaches for miles and fantastic weather all year round) I decided to come home to start my life in Canada.

That is my life story up to this point. Oh and one other thing: I’m gay.

I used to think that being gay was no different from being straight, of course the obvious aside, I thought that I could live life and go about being who I was without being a ‘stereotypical’ homosexual. Such as the bright colours, the disco music and so on.

However, being gay is indeed very different from being straight. In many ways it is challenging, but in some surprisingly helpful. This has become very clear to me as I have entered the work force and began looking for full time employment.

Moving to a new city and trying to make contacts can be difficult. My move has been made considerably easier by the ‘velvet mafia’: a group of successful, understanding and generous gay people. In these circles there is an unspoken understanding that being gay will get you help from other like-minded individuals.

I think it has something to do with the fact that we live in a world dominated by heterosexual culture (though this has been changing over the past few decades). Perhaps there is an understanding that comes from having faced some adversity in life, though my own life bears no comparison to other people I have met and stories I have heard. There is an understanding born from common challenges that are faced and overcome; this creates a community, one filled with members eager to help each other out.

So while I have been trying to not classify myself purely on terms of my sexuality, a distinction that society places great importance on, I am finding it nice to be able to live in a world where being gay is actually an advantage.

• Features