The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Words by: Jamie Phillips

Image by: grenade

Long weekends are made for camping.  Something about getting an extra day off of work provides the impetus for perfectly civilized people to go feral, escaping the confines of the cubicle in favor of experimenting with the relationship between fire and alcohol. Seasoned sources tell me that this does not change as you get older, get married, and have kids.  So, perhaps our first long weekend excursions as graduates are an unofficial induction into the world of adulthood. Joining the herd, as it were, stampeding along highways, nature-bound in gear-laden Ford trucks. Lilac infused summer air rushes through open windows as we migrate towards something as near to freedom as we can get when we only have three days to spare.

And why not? The sins of long weekend festivities are exquisite.

Gluttony

I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but if, while camping, you devour so many hot dogs you make Takeru Kobayashi look like a slacker, the calories don’t count. It’s the smoke from the camp fire. It destroys saturated fats and such. Fact.

Vice

Drinking behaviors that would typically be frowned upon are not only encouraged but celebrated. For instance, putting Baileys in your morning cereal – what a great idea! And pesky social customs like Last Call? As forgotten as the job you left behind.

More Vices

You are free to engage in shenanigans that would, in the civilized world, have you escorted out by a friendly bouncer. Caveat: there are still some things that are just unwise, like sparring in the dark near a steep drop. Good-natured fun is one thing; lacerated faces and broken bones are another.

Envy

If you’re the sort who covets your neighbor’s stuff… well, I can’t help you with this one. Stealing your buddy’s girl is still uncool, no matter where you are. However! You can always pack zip ties and trap him inside his tent after he falls asleep.

Age-inappropriate behavior

Want to dance like a Muppet on amphetamines? Go for it. Pound beers like a shameless teenager? Knock yourself out. The bad news is that this is not Vegas. The pictures/videos will end up on Facebook. The good news is that your story will give people something to laugh about when they’re back at work.

Arson

A skilled arsonist is an asset – a necessity, even - not an insurance liability. Oh, and the fireworks. The faces of your friends, vivacious in the pyrotechnic afterglow, look as they must have looked as children, unburdened by the drudgeries of post-pubescent life.

Sloth

Laziness never felt better. It’s not often you have the guilt-free luxury of waking up to an impossibly azure summer day, crack a beer and just sit, surrounded by friends, with nothing but time stretched before you.

Long weekends are the embodiment of indolence: three days to gorge on free time, the company of friends, and of course, fire seared marshmallows. Long weekends provide us with the necessary, albeit brief, respite from the mundane realities of the nine-to-five, or the soul-crushing job boards. It reminds us that adulthood isn’t so different from childhood, or from college for that matter. We do what we need to do, whether it’s work or study, so that we can go out and play. The particulars may have gotten more complicated. Instead of “finish your dinner” it’s “find a job so you can buy dinner.” But, at the core, it’s exactly the same. We just want to be able to go out and play.

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