The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Words by: Sam Clemens

Image by: e

I remember the days when online romance was exclusively for those with a common fetish. These people were left alone to discuss the sexual merits of furry bunny vs. squirrel costumes in a chat room at 4am. This realm was almost exclusively designated to those with sexual secrets too bizarre for the offline world.

Needless to say the digital landscape of love has drastically changed.

In this, our fast paced online world, it is remarkably easy to begin relationships with people all over the globe.  We can text, email, Facebook, gchat, Skype, and as a result of these connections, we may realize that we have developed feelings for someone halfway around the world. The myriad channels of communication can prove sufficient for expressing affection and with the exception of the occasional physical ache to have someone’s arms around you, their words are often comfort enough.

This new dynamic could be viewed as a romantic renaissance in the digital age.  There is something terribly tender and old-timey about writing to the object of your affection.  So who cares if the modern day love letter is typed at 90 words a minute rather than thoughtfully composed by candlelight with an ink pot and a quill?

Does the medium make the message any less sincere?

Being a quasi-academic (in that I possess a B.A) and a glutton for punishment, I have to wonder if there is some weight to this question.  Has our global society led us to become so isolated that we are truly satisfied to conduct entire romantic relationships without ever actually coming face to face with our hearts desire?

We have replaced physical expressions of affection with a library of emoticons.  A wink, a kiss, an angry face, they are all available with the click of a mouse and expected to sufficiently convey genuine feelings. But the melding of emotions with this ominous suffix ‘con’ makes me think twice about these little guys’ sincerity.

To question the authenticity of a long distance love seems inevitable.  The idea that actions speak louder than words is a hard one to shake.  And the fact of the matter is that it’s easy to promise the world when you’re half a world away.  The cyber space buffer creates an environment conducive to fantasy, where digital couples can nurture dreams of a future life in which they are geographically and emotionally connected.  Which is great, until it’s not.

At a certain point, human nature trumps technology and we realize that an animated emoticon offering us a kiss before bed is simply no match for the real thing.  It seems that while distance may make the heart grow fonder, there is little research on the effects of distance when it comes to actually maintaining said fondness of heart.  So until those lazy teleportation scientists step up their research game, we are left to our own devices to navigate this new romantic frontier.  I suggest an iphone.

XOXO ☺