The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Words by: Anna Merlan

Image by: Lindsey Shields

My first home after I left my parents’ house was an astonishingly disgusting on-campus apartment that I shared with seven other girls. The summer before my freshman year, I had received my housing forms and checked the box for single-sex housing, reasoning (foolishly) that women tend to be cleaner than men. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I was dead wrong; by the end of the first quarter, we had just as much filth and mold covering everything as our all-male neighbors. 

The only real difference was our added layer of stink, a pungent bouquet redolent of cheap perfume, nail polish remover, and the mingling scents of about twelve dozen different hair products. I hated our apartment. I hated its thin walls, our midnight bongo-playing upstairs neighbors, our ludicrously tiny kitchen where cooking was not an option, and our horrible bathroom, a giant echoing monstrosity complete with two bathroom stalls, a bank of sinks, and a large shower with two nozzles. Although I’m sure all of these things seemed like a good idea in the free-lovin’ ‘70s, when the apartment was first built, it felt like living in a bus station that smelled like a brothel. 

My next place was a little better: I, along with a group of friends, moved into a smaller, nicer on-campus unit meant for older students. After that, I moved off campus and had a series of weird misadventures with my next landlady, a new age therapist who wore brightly colored muumuus, furtively ate all my cookies in the dead of night, and hit on my uncle mercilessly every time he came to visit. For the first few years of college, my concept of “home” was nebulous; my real home still felt like my parents’ house, while the series of places where I stayed were just temporary, spots to sleep and heat up cans of soup. 

These early experiences with housing were unpleasant, to be sure. But they also led me to consider what’s truly necessary to make a home. It’s not decorative lampshades or fancy soap in the bathroom; it’s the bare essentials that make you feel safe and comfortable. For some of you, the things on this list may be old news. But if you’ve just moved out of the dorms and into “real world” living as a college graduate, here’s a list of must-have items: 

Lots and lots of sponges, because they get really gross really fast. Do not keep them around like cherished heirlooms from your great aunt Dottie. If they stink, throw them out and grab a new one. If sponges seem too wasteful, use rags and a scouring brush. A clean kitchen and bathroom will make you much, much happier. 

A bathmat, at least two sets of towels and sheets, and an extra heavy blanket for cold months. They come cheap at any big-box store or at Goodwill. A bathmat keeps you from trailing water on your bathroom floor, and two sets of sheets and towels mean that you can alternate using them and not wear them out quickly. They will also need to be washed at least every two weeks. 

Cold medicine, ibuprofen or aspirin, something for an upset stomach, and band-aids. When you actually need these things, you won’t want to go out and get them. Peppermint tea is also excellent for indigestion or a bad day. 

Baking soda and lemon juice. Baking soda is magical - it deodorizes your fridge, you use it to make cookies, and you can even brush your teeth with it, in a pinch. Baking soda mixed with lemon juice is a nice, all-natural cleaning agent for countertops. 

A few non-perishable food items, like canned goods. If you don’t cook, you should learn, because it’s cheaper, tastier, and a better seduction tool than taking someone out to dinner. 

A handful of inexpensive things will make you feel a lot more like a human being. Post-graduate life may be difficult or discouraging at times. But there’s no reason it should also have to be gross and unsanitary.