The Lemon Life | online magazine offering a fresh perspective on post-grad life.

Words By: Jamie Phillips
Image By: Michael Tunney

Graduation: Decisions to be made, celebrations to be had, debt over which to agonize, professors’ houses to pelt with eggs. So much to do, and only so much alcohol can be imbibed before the cirrhosis sets in. Don’t worry, copious stress builds character. Or causes heart attacks, I forget which. At any rate, the New Grad has much to think about. And somewhere on your priority list may be relationships, whether it’s a lack thereof or questioning the future of your current one. Like a monarch, you must decide if heads will roll, or if your love will live to see another day. Go ahead, let the power corrupt you: it’s fun.

The fate of your relationship will, at least partially, hinge on what you decide to do with yourself after graduation, location-wise. If neither of you is going anywhere, you can’t use the “but you’ll be so far away” excuse to get out of the relationship. Staying the course is quite easy (easiest, even) in this case, and if you’re happy with the situation, then all is well. On the other hand, if either one or both of you are planning on moving cities, or wanting to stave off real life for a spell and travel, it becomes more complicated. You are then faced with a choice between parting ways, the always-enjoyable long distance relationship or someone tagging along for the ride.

An insecure partner may feel that your decision to leave him or her behind while you travel or pursue a career elsewhere signifies a lack of devotion. And maybe a yen to get the hell out of dodge, regardless of relationship status, does reflect your not-so-committed feelings about your relationship. Or maybe having certain experiences is simply important to you, separate from your happy coupling. Either way, this is no “dammit you said you’d call at six” skirmish.

Tagging along with your jet setting partner, or having your beloved follow you seems like a pretty good compromise. One person wants to go; the other doesn’t have anything better to do - they think, a-ha! No heart wrenching decisions need to be made here. Theoretically.

Here are two stories to the effect of, think twice about this “bad idea in a compromise’s clothing.”

The first, in which He Followed Me:
My mother was pissed. Like, cutting me off from tuition payments pissed. I did it anyway, naturally. I was going away to school in Vancouver, but my long held escape-from-Alberta plans had a small glitch: a summer fling trying to become more than it was. Parenthetically, the new relationship high is really not conducive to good decision-making. All such privileges should be revoked until sanity returns. In my defense, I was scared of moving to a new city alone, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. It only took until Christmas to fall apart. We were heading down wildly different paths regardless; living in proximity wasn’t going to keep us together.

The second, in which I Followed Him:
After dating for a while, I moved to a boring-as-hell small town to live with him while he went to school. Again, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I had been out of school for a year, was drifting along in a retail job, bored and jonesing for a change. Change came with baggy pants and a Y chromosome. The problem: I went along for the ride in someone else’s life and neglected to live my own. It was my second break-up themed Christmas.

(Confidential to Santa: Next year I’ll just take the gift certificate to Chapters. Thanks.)

As much fun as those break ups were, there certainly is something to be said for life experience – even if it comes from making the occasional and/or colossal bad life choice. I gave a couple of relationships that seemed promising the old college try. Train wrecks ensued. And now I know what to avoid in the future.

So, will your relationship survive graduation? Well, um, that depends. Do you want it to?

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